Friday 27 April 2012

A Blog for the Older Bride (and Groom!)

My name is Robin. I am a mother, a lawyer, and a Been Around the Block Bride.  My mission in writing this blog is to offer help, advice and a shoulder to cry on to other brides like myself who do not fit the stereotypical bridal image which is so prevalent in the media today.  I wanted to connect with other women like myself who want a special, glorious day but feel quite frankly like a bit of an idiot when furtively leafing through bridal magazines at the newsagents.


In five months' time, at the age of 53, I will be going down the aisle one more time. To most people, this might seem a rather unremarkable, though felicitous, state of affairs. However, let me assure you that the entire process of getting to that point has been, and will continue to be, rather mind-blowing. I am not referring to the actual process of Getting the Groom. Hell, that was the easy part in comparison. No, I am referring to the actual wedding itself.  Weddings have always been big business, but a completely huge mega billion $/£ wedding industry seems to have sprung up since my last nuptials in 1986, when I managed to coordinate a wedding for 100 people in three weeks,  before the age of the internet.  I was living in London at the time, and  my mother and I did shop for a dress a couple of months beforehand. Try doing that these days - you will be laughed out of the bridal salon - that is, if you can even find one that will cater for brides 45+ years old and where the staff won't steer you towards a rack at the back of the shop, filled with unlovely shiny bridesmaid dresses, saying pityingly 'we can order this in ivory if you want'. 


Three weeks before my 1986 wedding, I flew back home to my parents' house in suburban Chicago and hired a marquee for the garden, a string quartet, the caterer, photographer, florist and even the minister with two/three weeks to spare. My father and I ordered the wedding cake together from our local bakery the weekend before. It was big and beautiful, and everything I could have wanted in a wedding cake. Invitations ordered by my mother from a local stationers (I didn't even know what they looked like - she just told me over the phone that they were grey!) were mailed out six weeks in advance of the big day, and everyone who was invited, save for a very ill uncle, made the trip.  The groom showed up a few days before hand.  It was a lovely wedding, and it's just a shame that the marriage went pear shaped rather quickly after that.


My point in rehashing this is that to try to do the same thing today would be virtually impossible. The wedding magazines these days (which are all aimed at twenty-something brides) all advocate at least a year to plan the wedding. I suppose this advice is all well and good for young people with time on their side, and who are also perhaps waiting to finish school or to find a better job, but for those of us for whom time has become an ever more precious commodity, I frankly don't feel like putting things off for another year, and neither does my fiancĂ©. 


The flipside of this is that because of my very laid back first time around experience, I am actually looking for a bit more involvement in this wedding. And happily, so is hubby to be. 


So watch this space as I report back to you on the rollercoaster ride that is a 21st century wedding for an older couple! 


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